If you have clients who experience test or performance anxiety, you might find some of these passages helpful in developing a hypnosis session. The target group: people who experience anxiety and have negative perceptions.
Inducution.
Reponse set: seeing things from different vantage points like changing landscapes. From a hill, from a plane and different views of personal experiences like "who you are today is not who you will be tomorrow".
The script:
Imagine a glass of water filled half way. If you were asked "Is the glass half empty or is the glass half full? What would it be like to change your answer?
Perception is unique to every individual and is simply your personal interpretation of reality. That is what makes us all different and the mind so complex. That is why we can have competing feelings like I want to do well in school, but sometimes I feel too tired to take the bus.
And whether you understand the expression a rolling stone gathers no moss,
a person who is willing to consider possibility is less likely to stand still and have the world act on him or her.
Now I invite you to deeply relax.
Here is the heart of the matter
When I ask does your heart say yes or does it say no?
If yes, then a test gives you an opportunity to show someone what you know.
If yes, a test gives you a chance to be considered even when the answer is not what was expected.
And whether they are your partner, boss, friend or just a respected teacher
You can now consider that ...
Taking a test is an opportunity – to measure what I want to know more about. What I want to understand what I know and what I need to learn more about.
That is exciting like finding the last piece of a puzzle.
And as you become more and more comfortable,
I encourage you to create a vision of being relaxed and creating an image of all the information that is valuable to you and all the information that you don’t know yet.
Information that you might need when you least expect to need it.
Like a skilled magician who produces a bouquet of flowers out of thin air.
And what does it take to get a college degree?
You have to do the work and show up at class.
But the diploma endures.
And a simple piece of paper opens doors that are too heavy for the strongest man without a library card
Over the course of a lifetime.
Tests come in many different shapes and sizes so it is interesting to consider the skill of making the grade comfortably
inside and outside a classroom.
And you might have begun to notice how comfortable you are feeling as you have already begun to learn new ways to look at an old subject.
It reminds me of an experience when I was in college.
I had a teacher who once asked “What is the question that you intend to answer on the test next week?” because "I want to know what you know not what you don’t know"
Perhaps you as well as
I instantly began to feel excited, expectant long before the test date because I suddenly had so much to say.
I hardly noticed that I was swimming over my books and even discovering books I had not read yet.
I could actually see and feel how well I had prepared and how I began to feel information at my finger tips...as you can let a sensation in your fingertips develop now to show you that what you focus on you magnify.
And I don’t know if you can picture a beautiful, roaring water fall cascading with information, but the pleasant sound can be both comforting and yet at the same time so powerful.
And how is it that some of the most interesting people in the world have an ability to set their feelings aside to send a direct message.
Really it is not so important how they do that, but that they have figured out they need to do it to be considered.
I think you know what I am talking about
It is becoming so focused and transparent.
Actors don’t just get on a stage and act. They learn their lines and pretend they are the character.
They rehearse their lines over and over.
I once heard a famous psychiatrist say, just pretend you know what you know and after awhile you’ll forget that you are pretending.
You can see the logic in that as you let yourself relax even deeper.
Three deep breaths. You will take three deep, luxurious breaths that expand your lungs and as you exhale all the tension in your body will begin to drain out spreading comfort throughout your body as you enter a room where you are being asked
What do you know.
And you are going to tell them what you know and it will be exciting and even if you are the last person in the room you will enjoy every minute as an opportunity to express yourself fully and
If you reach a question that seems not as easy, you will skip it,
relax as you answer the easier questions, then go back to it later.
You will remember that obstacles are only challenges in disguise and if you have time, you will unmask the question.
Invite your client to begin a natureal reorientation to the room....
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Living in the Now
In 1913 Dr. William Osler was invited to speak to students at Yale University. His address suggested that people could, with practice, develop "Day-tight compartments" to manage worry. He couched his thoughts in the metaphor of an ocean liner's bulkheads -- those great metal doors that close to keep out water if the boat's integrity is compromised "to ensure safety on the voyage" -- meaning life.
And I quote, "Get on the bridge and see that at least the great bulkheads are in working order. Touch a button and hear, at every level of your life, the iron doors shutting out the Past--the dead yesterdays. Touch another and shut off, with a metal curtain, the Future--the unborn tomorrows. Then you are safe -- safe for to-day!"
He suggested further in his speech that a successful future would emerge naturally from work well done in the day.
I read this same message in Michael Yapko's book "Depression is Contagious" when he offered ways to discriminate between useless analysis (worry with no answers) and useful analysis (concerns that once analysed led to a clear and direct course of action).
For years, I believed that introspection was a gift and felt it contributed to my reputation as being a "deep thinker". I was absolutely wrong. Worry contributes to nothing other than spinning around and around. So, give yourself a break and consider shutting those water-tight compartments and live fully today.
And I quote, "Get on the bridge and see that at least the great bulkheads are in working order. Touch a button and hear, at every level of your life, the iron doors shutting out the Past--the dead yesterdays. Touch another and shut off, with a metal curtain, the Future--the unborn tomorrows. Then you are safe -- safe for to-day!"
He suggested further in his speech that a successful future would emerge naturally from work well done in the day.
I read this same message in Michael Yapko's book "Depression is Contagious" when he offered ways to discriminate between useless analysis (worry with no answers) and useful analysis (concerns that once analysed led to a clear and direct course of action).
For years, I believed that introspection was a gift and felt it contributed to my reputation as being a "deep thinker". I was absolutely wrong. Worry contributes to nothing other than spinning around and around. So, give yourself a break and consider shutting those water-tight compartments and live fully today.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Reaching Out
Today one of the hottest topics in the world is the physical environment and the term "sustainable development". I have coined a spin off of this term: "Research Architects" or ways to construct, develop and maintain the most effective strategies for reducing personal isolation and building social networks that keep people safe and thriving in a complex world. I am developing a series of workshops on this topic that will be complemented with focused awareness exercises. Keep posted.
Friday, October 16, 2009
No walk in the park...
Several weeks ago I decided to take a walk to a park in a new area of town. It was early evening and although I was advised to take a bus, the evening was mild and I needed the exercise. I noticed everyone on the street, especially noting the older women with their shopping bags and small dogs on leash which represented a safe neighborhood to me. At first I was curious about the colorful graffiti on the walls until it suddenly grew above my head and the smell of local garages and non-descript businesses crossed my path. At one point I thought I would turn and retrace my steps especially when I noticed that small groups of men had replaced women and leashed dogs. But I did not turn. Instead I looked up and saw green trees in the distance I thought "There's the park." and I just kept walking with a definite determination.
Several blocks later I was at a wall. It was ten feet tall of solid concrete with one small a gate that I quickly opened into a large and beautiful cemetery. I was surprised.
I became reflective as I walked through the tiny alleys and admired the miniatures residences. I was in a safe and quiet place. I was in a park. I thought to myself, everyday one should walk in a cemetery to appreciate one's short life.
It was not quite the walk in a park I had anticipated, but nonetheless...the exercise was good for me.
Several blocks later I was at a wall. It was ten feet tall of solid concrete with one small a gate that I quickly opened into a large and beautiful cemetery. I was surprised.
I became reflective as I walked through the tiny alleys and admired the miniatures residences. I was in a safe and quiet place. I was in a park. I thought to myself, everyday one should walk in a cemetery to appreciate one's short life.
It was not quite the walk in a park I had anticipated, but nonetheless...the exercise was good for me.
Solid Words
"Following are six of the most significant factors to consider in assessing other people. I want to make it clear that these are my top six of dozens of possible things to observe about someone else...(M. Yapko)
First and foremost : A well developed sense of responsibility.
Good relationships are difficult enough between two reasonably intelligent, emotionally healthy people. But if you don't have a well-developed sense of responsibility, you don't have the foundation for doing all of the important things that you must do to keep a relationship healthy....the following are examples of what responisbility looks like in relationships:
A responsible person commits to performing the tasks that represent an agreed-upon division of labor within the relationship ("I'll cook if you clean" or "I'll research and report on the technology for this new program is you'll write up the proposal") One person doesn't get to kick back while someone else does it all.
A responsible person does what she says she will do and can be depended upon to follow through on commitments. Her promise is as good as gold. ("I said I'd do it, so count on it.")
A responsible person doesn't isolate his spouse, partner or colleague (You don't like my drinking? That's your problem!") A responsible person accepts that he is not responsible for other people, but is responsible to them. When one person in a good relationship says, "This is a concern for me," the responsible person helps address it directly and in a timely way.
A responsible person doesn't put ther people's well-being at risk for his or her own benefit ("I know I have a family depending on me, but I've always wanted to climb Mt. Everest and now here's my chance").
A responsible person doesn't blame other people for the the choices he made ("I had to hide my mountain of debt from you because I knew yuo'd be furious with me for spending money we don't have").
A responsible person doesn't walk away from an interaction just because it's difficult ("Stop talking, you're giving me a headache!").
A responsible person doesn't threaten other people or otherwise try to control them ("Either you cut back on your hours or I'm leaving you").
A responsible person doesn't ignore the needs of others who've been led to believe they can depend on her just because her original commitment is no longer convenient ("I know I said I would be there, but that was before I got tickets to the concert").
The ability to take responsibility for one's actions is often not very easy. Cognitive dissonance leads people to justify rather than apologize for some pretty bad behaviour. the importance of being able to say "I'm sorry" to someone you've wronged cannot be overstated, and there are few better possible displays of inegrity .(p58-59)"
First and foremost : A well developed sense of responsibility.
Good relationships are difficult enough between two reasonably intelligent, emotionally healthy people. But if you don't have a well-developed sense of responsibility, you don't have the foundation for doing all of the important things that you must do to keep a relationship healthy....the following are examples of what responisbility looks like in relationships:
A responsible person commits to performing the tasks that represent an agreed-upon division of labor within the relationship ("I'll cook if you clean" or "I'll research and report on the technology for this new program is you'll write up the proposal") One person doesn't get to kick back while someone else does it all.
A responsible person does what she says she will do and can be depended upon to follow through on commitments. Her promise is as good as gold. ("I said I'd do it, so count on it.")
A responsible person doesn't isolate his spouse, partner or colleague (You don't like my drinking? That's your problem!") A responsible person accepts that he is not responsible for other people, but is responsible to them. When one person in a good relationship says, "This is a concern for me," the responsible person helps address it directly and in a timely way.
A responsible person doesn't put ther people's well-being at risk for his or her own benefit ("I know I have a family depending on me, but I've always wanted to climb Mt. Everest and now here's my chance").
A responsible person doesn't blame other people for the the choices he made ("I had to hide my mountain of debt from you because I knew yuo'd be furious with me for spending money we don't have").
A responsible person doesn't walk away from an interaction just because it's difficult ("Stop talking, you're giving me a headache!").
A responsible person doesn't threaten other people or otherwise try to control them ("Either you cut back on your hours or I'm leaving you").
A responsible person doesn't ignore the needs of others who've been led to believe they can depend on her just because her original commitment is no longer convenient ("I know I said I would be there, but that was before I got tickets to the concert").
The ability to take responsibility for one's actions is often not very easy. Cognitive dissonance leads people to justify rather than apologize for some pretty bad behaviour. the importance of being able to say "I'm sorry" to someone you've wronged cannot be overstated, and there are few better possible displays of inegrity .(p58-59)"
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
With Gratitude
Recently I was in Rome at a conference. This is what I learned. It is not the road we travel, but the people we meet on that road that makes the travel of value. For example, being invited to sit beside my teacher and mentor was like sitting beneath a great strong oak tree that blows in the wind, but definitely is rooted solidly in the soil. He might not appreciate that metaphor, but the workshop included an exercise on gratitude. So there you go. Thank you Michael Yapko.
I just finished reading his latest book, "Depression is Contagious". Whether you are clinically depressed or just drowning in your "I have a right to have these feelings" feelings, run to the closest bookstore fast and buy this book. Pay particular attention to "You are not your mood" and questions like: "How do you discriminate between over-thinking and effective thinking?"
Once you embrace this, you will instantly feel so much better...at least I did.
Let go of the past and the future you don't know yet and focus on creating a positive direction on a road oft travelled. Be kind to yourself.
If there is someone out there who does something really well, stop and just ask them
"How do you do that?" And listen.
I just finished reading his latest book, "Depression is Contagious". Whether you are clinically depressed or just drowning in your "I have a right to have these feelings" feelings, run to the closest bookstore fast and buy this book. Pay particular attention to "You are not your mood" and questions like: "How do you discriminate between over-thinking and effective thinking?"
Once you embrace this, you will instantly feel so much better...at least I did.
Let go of the past and the future you don't know yet and focus on creating a positive direction on a road oft travelled. Be kind to yourself.
If there is someone out there who does something really well, stop and just ask them
"How do you do that?" And listen.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Stepping into the unknown: Recall...
Ithaka
As you set out for Ithaka hope the voyage is a long one,full of adventure, full of discovery.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,angry Poseidon-don't be afraid of them:you'll never find things like that on your wayas long as you keep your thoughts raised high,as long as a rare excitementstirs your spirit and your body.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,wild Poseidon-you won't encounter themunless you bring them along inside your soul,unless your soul sets them up in front of you.
Hope the voyage is a long one.May there be many a summer morning when,with what pleasure, what joy,you come into harbors seen for the first time;may you stop at Phoenician trading stationsto buy fine things,mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,sensual perfume of every kind-as many sensual perfumes as you can;and may you visit many Egyptian citiesto gather stores of knowledge from their scholars.
Keep Ithaka always in your mind.Arriving there is what you are destined for.But do not hurry the journey at all.Better if it lasts for years,so you are old by the time you reach the island,wealthy with all you have gained on the way,not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.
Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.Without her you would not have set out.She has nothing left to give you now.
And if you find her poor, Ithaka won't have fooled you.Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,you will have understood by then what these Ithakas mean.
As you set out for Ithaka hope the voyage is a long one,full of adventure, full of discovery.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,angry Poseidon-don't be afraid of them:you'll never find things like that on your wayas long as you keep your thoughts raised high,as long as a rare excitementstirs your spirit and your body.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,wild Poseidon-you won't encounter themunless you bring them along inside your soul,unless your soul sets them up in front of you.
Hope the voyage is a long one.May there be many a summer morning when,with what pleasure, what joy,you come into harbors seen for the first time;may you stop at Phoenician trading stationsto buy fine things,mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,sensual perfume of every kind-as many sensual perfumes as you can;and may you visit many Egyptian citiesto gather stores of knowledge from their scholars.
Keep Ithaka always in your mind.Arriving there is what you are destined for.But do not hurry the journey at all.Better if it lasts for years,so you are old by the time you reach the island,wealthy with all you have gained on the way,not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.
Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.Without her you would not have set out.She has nothing left to give you now.
And if you find her poor, Ithaka won't have fooled you.Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,you will have understood by then what these Ithakas mean.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
The Race as a metaphor for personal success and enduring friendships
It gives me pleasure to post an e-mail sent to members of a community running team from the head of their club. It can be read on many levels, but at the most inspiring, it can be read as a metaphor for setting goals and accomplishing them in one's own time, one's own way and with the support of like minded runners. Thank you Paul.
When the race is over and the legs are sore, I always reflect on the past few months and the journey that brought me to complete another race. I’ll share some of my reflections because you are all such an integral part of that journey.
It seems my life is organized in 16 week blocks - sound familiar? It may seem mundane or boring to many but 16 weeks is the time that I need to regain the strength to challenge myself to running another marathon. 16 weeks is the time I invest in myself knowing that there will be a moment, an experience that will once again prove to me that it is was all worthwhile and that with determination I can face the difficulties that life places on my path. The marathon and the training is for me a manifestation of the perseverance that is needed to overcome adversity and work toward being a better, stronger person. I run to remind myself that I should never give up on what is important even when it seems painfully difficult.
I have often said that the support provided by running with a group is a tremendous benefit not only with the discipline required to train but also in the friendships that develop. I believe that would be a common doctrine for many of you. However, it becomes apparent on race day that many of us run alone. It is the moment when we prove to ourselves that we are here for our own reasons and will do our best to achieve the goal we set out to do. Some succeed, some not, some will be proud and some will be disappointed but I hope that each one of you, regardless of the outcome, is proud of what you set out to do.
I am proud that you came to the Start Line and did your best to overcome the adversity that was placed in front of you. The marathon is never easy but it is an experience worth living and I am proud that you joined me in Ottawa and hopeful that I have contributed to a memory that will stay with you for years to come.
My sincerest congratulations to all of you and I look forward to our next experience together.
When the race is over and the legs are sore, I always reflect on the past few months and the journey that brought me to complete another race. I’ll share some of my reflections because you are all such an integral part of that journey.
It seems my life is organized in 16 week blocks - sound familiar? It may seem mundane or boring to many but 16 weeks is the time that I need to regain the strength to challenge myself to running another marathon. 16 weeks is the time I invest in myself knowing that there will be a moment, an experience that will once again prove to me that it is was all worthwhile and that with determination I can face the difficulties that life places on my path. The marathon and the training is for me a manifestation of the perseverance that is needed to overcome adversity and work toward being a better, stronger person. I run to remind myself that I should never give up on what is important even when it seems painfully difficult.
I have often said that the support provided by running with a group is a tremendous benefit not only with the discipline required to train but also in the friendships that develop. I believe that would be a common doctrine for many of you. However, it becomes apparent on race day that many of us run alone. It is the moment when we prove to ourselves that we are here for our own reasons and will do our best to achieve the goal we set out to do. Some succeed, some not, some will be proud and some will be disappointed but I hope that each one of you, regardless of the outcome, is proud of what you set out to do.
I am proud that you came to the Start Line and did your best to overcome the adversity that was placed in front of you. The marathon is never easy but it is an experience worth living and I am proud that you joined me in Ottawa and hopeful that I have contributed to a memory that will stay with you for years to come.
My sincerest congratulations to all of you and I look forward to our next experience together.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Hypnosis Scripts
This week I am going to have six scripts professionally recorded.
- hypnosis and sleep
- hypnosis: challenging the language barrier in couples
- hypnosis: managing change in a time of uncertainty
- hypnosis: an introduction and invitation to experiencing hypnosis
- hypnosis: 3 - 5 minute relaxation breaks at work
- hypnosis and reframing physial discomfort
On final completion at the studio, they will be available for purchase on the web site.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Are you caring for a loved one? Read this.
My friend wrote an important blog message of support and caring for all those caregivers out there. I told him I would share it because...well...it needs to be said and heard by those who care well.
Thank God for the caregivers that we get. Hopefully, all patients are as fortunate as I am, to have someone who is tolerant of their mood swings, their indecisiveness, their sometimes unusual demands and the general pain in the asses that we can be.They are inflicted with the pain of watching a loved one go through something like this in addition to the unexpected pressures placed on them to become full time nannies.In many ways, their lives become as upside down as the patients'.They want to let you have it at times (and deservedly so) but they will defer to you, keeping their frustration bottled up inside.We are given a free pass often, out of sympathy I guess.I try my best to take care of my own needs whenever I can, but she knows when to pick up the slack.A symbiotic relationship develops in which the patient tries to alleviate some of this pressure on them and the caregiver knows when they should back off and when they need to jump in with both feet to offer physical and emotional support.If you can't make this happen, misery will prevail on both sides.If you do make it happen, it is a beautiful thing to behold. The condition of the patient causes this to be an extremely liquid process.Some days they are in good shape and require little attention but some days due to the drugs or the psychology of their situation, they require as much attention as a newborn.The tightrope that the caregiver walks must surely wear them out. I think there should be some kind of sick day/vacation day clause written into their unspoken contract.They need some time to get away from the circumstances and be able to breathe some cool clean air under a bright blue sky, far removed from their daily duties, while their batteries and brains recharge, getting ready for the next round.Looking at it from the other side, I think I'll stick with being the patient, it seems to be a much easier job.I have one of the best and although we are in the early stages of this ordeal, I know that she will be there till the end no matter what the result is.
Thanks, Doug.
Thank God for the caregivers that we get. Hopefully, all patients are as fortunate as I am, to have someone who is tolerant of their mood swings, their indecisiveness, their sometimes unusual demands and the general pain in the asses that we can be.They are inflicted with the pain of watching a loved one go through something like this in addition to the unexpected pressures placed on them to become full time nannies.In many ways, their lives become as upside down as the patients'.They want to let you have it at times (and deservedly so) but they will defer to you, keeping their frustration bottled up inside.We are given a free pass often, out of sympathy I guess.I try my best to take care of my own needs whenever I can, but she knows when to pick up the slack.A symbiotic relationship develops in which the patient tries to alleviate some of this pressure on them and the caregiver knows when they should back off and when they need to jump in with both feet to offer physical and emotional support.If you can't make this happen, misery will prevail on both sides.If you do make it happen, it is a beautiful thing to behold. The condition of the patient causes this to be an extremely liquid process.Some days they are in good shape and require little attention but some days due to the drugs or the psychology of their situation, they require as much attention as a newborn.The tightrope that the caregiver walks must surely wear them out. I think there should be some kind of sick day/vacation day clause written into their unspoken contract.They need some time to get away from the circumstances and be able to breathe some cool clean air under a bright blue sky, far removed from their daily duties, while their batteries and brains recharge, getting ready for the next round.Looking at it from the other side, I think I'll stick with being the patient, it seems to be a much easier job.I have one of the best and although we are in the early stages of this ordeal, I know that she will be there till the end no matter what the result is.
Thanks, Doug.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
When you don't know how to do something ask someone who does it well
When I need help I ask. I see it as a strength in me and always in others. I have the luxury of tapping into some of the best thinkers out there in the field. One evening after speaking with my friend, Doug I decided to write my professional colleagues about how do you do your best to help someone who is facing a life-threatening disease and who describes mortality yapping at his heals (and you are afraid of dogs).
I have included here part of a response I received. I think it is valuable to share.
...just a few words about what I have found helpful. In working with clients that was helpful and thinking back on what I did not do so well with family and friends I discovered the best I could do was be there to affirm their fear and let them talk about it while I validated their thoughts. Then I slowly led them to imagine what they hoped it would be. This was also mixed with much talk about what they might want to say to those they love, hear from those they love, etc. The biggest fear was when is it going to hit and how. So my approach was to help them talk about the important emotional issues that really matter to them. I imagine that you have done that but I found it important to just keep listening and then gently redirecting to what they actually have control over in the moment and that is how they can think about how they want it. That said, it is important to remember that ther is no great solution. When people have great fear of death sometimes there is not much we can do. Sometimes talking about the fear is all that is necessary because most people try to steer the conversation away from this and so they can't deal with the feelings and become overwhelmed. If you actually know what the real fear or other issues are you can be the most effective possible. It might be sitting and speaking softly about many wonderful memories or imaginings, of things he might imagine himself working on, building, etc., in his dozing. It is such a loving act to be with someone when they are dying. It is also very difficult. Please take care of yourself and remember that he is displaying his act of faith and love in you as a friend just by asking you to be there with him
Warmest thoughts. ------
I have included here part of a response I received. I think it is valuable to share.
...just a few words about what I have found helpful. In working with clients that was helpful and thinking back on what I did not do so well with family and friends I discovered the best I could do was be there to affirm their fear and let them talk about it while I validated their thoughts. Then I slowly led them to imagine what they hoped it would be. This was also mixed with much talk about what they might want to say to those they love, hear from those they love, etc. The biggest fear was when is it going to hit and how. So my approach was to help them talk about the important emotional issues that really matter to them. I imagine that you have done that but I found it important to just keep listening and then gently redirecting to what they actually have control over in the moment and that is how they can think about how they want it. That said, it is important to remember that ther is no great solution. When people have great fear of death sometimes there is not much we can do. Sometimes talking about the fear is all that is necessary because most people try to steer the conversation away from this and so they can't deal with the feelings and become overwhelmed. If you actually know what the real fear or other issues are you can be the most effective possible. It might be sitting and speaking softly about many wonderful memories or imaginings, of things he might imagine himself working on, building, etc., in his dozing. It is such a loving act to be with someone when they are dying. It is also very difficult. Please take care of yourself and remember that he is displaying his act of faith and love in you as a friend just by asking you to be there with him
Warmest thoughts. ------
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Feeling like you have over-painted your life?
Here is a new hypnosis script. The goal is to peel back layers to possibility now. Perhaps it is cryptic, but I think it is worth sharing.
Allow yourself to develop a blank slate
And a slate is often dark and smooth
with your eyes closed to the outside world
Listen to your breath as you inhale
Feel the cool air as you commit to the next moment
And then
Exhale
Letting go of the past and the future you do not know yet
If you choose
Rich colors and textures can begin to emerge,
A feeling, a tune or a smell that reminds you of a peaceful time
And you are beginning to relax deeper now
Discomfort blends into comfort and
as you listen to my voice
the tone resonates
undulates
reminding you of a long anticipated rest
now
Stay awake
to possibilities
The slate begins to change into a canvas that has
Many layers of paint
And each layer represents
Different moments in your life
How curious you might think
When I suggest we are going to un-rpaint
Where
You have over-painted.
An artist once told me that when she over-paints she kills a picture
But this canvas breaths
It is heavy with experiences
Experiences push against each layer
Now is all that exists
The past is the past
Positive lessons drawn forward are wrought with possibility
And each layer can be perfectly pulled off like a plastic laminate
Slowly with purpose
Remove the top most layer
And instantly feel lighter as you set each aside
And each layer thereafter,
Continue to feel a lightness within
Within yourself and
Within the re-emerging canvas
More deeply relaxed.
Focus on the comfort of setting the past aside
Focus on the comfort of the blank page
Focus on a warmth that can spread throughout your body
Beginning with your finger-tips,
Rising up you arm and down to your toes.
Finally, lift the last layer and reveal
The white canvas and breathe deeply with a renewed comfort
As the white invites you into possibilities
And what of white
Renewal,
Rebirth,
Relax...deeply as you focus now on the future you don’t know yet
With the positive knowledge you have drawn
From the past
Suggesting the possibility of raising a steady hand
To a fresh canvas
Painting a landscape from the many you have seen before
Differently
With a greater precision
Definition
Sketching out goals and roads
And roads are built to be traveled
Now take ... a few minutes to deeply relax,
Entertaining possibility
And when you are ready...begin to re-orient yourself to the environment around you.
Notice,
When you open your eyes
That you feel lighter and see things
Which you have seen before
differently
Allow yourself to develop a blank slate
And a slate is often dark and smooth
with your eyes closed to the outside world
Listen to your breath as you inhale
Feel the cool air as you commit to the next moment
And then
Exhale
Letting go of the past and the future you do not know yet
If you choose
Rich colors and textures can begin to emerge,
A feeling, a tune or a smell that reminds you of a peaceful time
And you are beginning to relax deeper now
Discomfort blends into comfort and
as you listen to my voice
the tone resonates
undulates
reminding you of a long anticipated rest
now
Stay awake
to possibilities
The slate begins to change into a canvas that has
Many layers of paint
And each layer represents
Different moments in your life
How curious you might think
When I suggest we are going to un-rpaint
Where
You have over-painted.
An artist once told me that when she over-paints she kills a picture
But this canvas breaths
It is heavy with experiences
Experiences push against each layer
Now is all that exists
The past is the past
Positive lessons drawn forward are wrought with possibility
And each layer can be perfectly pulled off like a plastic laminate
Slowly with purpose
Remove the top most layer
And instantly feel lighter as you set each aside
And each layer thereafter,
Continue to feel a lightness within
Within yourself and
Within the re-emerging canvas
More deeply relaxed.
Focus on the comfort of setting the past aside
Focus on the comfort of the blank page
Focus on a warmth that can spread throughout your body
Beginning with your finger-tips,
Rising up you arm and down to your toes.
Finally, lift the last layer and reveal
The white canvas and breathe deeply with a renewed comfort
As the white invites you into possibilities
And what of white
Renewal,
Rebirth,
Relax...deeply as you focus now on the future you don’t know yet
With the positive knowledge you have drawn
From the past
Suggesting the possibility of raising a steady hand
To a fresh canvas
Painting a landscape from the many you have seen before
Differently
With a greater precision
Definition
Sketching out goals and roads
And roads are built to be traveled
Now take ... a few minutes to deeply relax,
Entertaining possibility
And when you are ready...begin to re-orient yourself to the environment around you.
Notice,
When you open your eyes
That you feel lighter and see things
Which you have seen before
differently
Monday, June 1, 2009
Remember: We are until we are not
So, Doug moves into his third week of chemo and he reminds us all that he remains a contender, is a brave man and has not lost his voice. Check out his blog. http://doughasamyloidosis.blogspot.com .
Just because I am sick, it does not mean that I have stopped thinking about the rest of the world and what is happening in it. Korea is still launching missiles...and especially important, the Red Sox and Yankees are running neck and neck again.
Just because I am sick, it does not mean that I have stopped thinking about the rest of the world and what is happening in it. Korea is still launching missiles...and especially important, the Red Sox and Yankees are running neck and neck again.
You think it should matter, but it doesn't.
"How do I respond to a partner who gives me mixed messages about their commitments in our relationship?" a client recently asked.
In his case he wanted a commitment from a woman he had dated for several years. She kept repeating that she loved him, but always added that she was not yet sure whether she wanted a long term commitment. Shortly thereafter, he was offered a job in another city, asked her to accompany him, but she said she was not sure. He decided to move anyway. After the move, he missed her. She did not contact him, but everytime he called her she sounded happy to hear from him and asked him to visit her. He was wondering whether he should stay in touch. This is what I said.
“Neither. If you stay in touch and she genuinely loves you, she’ll think you’re the kindest and most understanding man in the world even though she causes you so much pain in her indecision; if she doesn’t love you, it will make her feel guilty and freak her out each time you contact her. And if you don’t stay in touch, that won’t matter either. If she loves you, she will find your indifference appealing and enticing; and if she doesn’t love you, your indifference will simply validate her impression n that you are not the man to be with and it was great that you moved away. So stay in touch or don’t stay in touch. You think it should matter, but it doesn’t”.
In his case he wanted a commitment from a woman he had dated for several years. She kept repeating that she loved him, but always added that she was not yet sure whether she wanted a long term commitment. Shortly thereafter, he was offered a job in another city, asked her to accompany him, but she said she was not sure. He decided to move anyway. After the move, he missed her. She did not contact him, but everytime he called her she sounded happy to hear from him and asked him to visit her. He was wondering whether he should stay in touch. This is what I said.
“Neither. If you stay in touch and she genuinely loves you, she’ll think you’re the kindest and most understanding man in the world even though she causes you so much pain in her indecision; if she doesn’t love you, it will make her feel guilty and freak her out each time you contact her. And if you don’t stay in touch, that won’t matter either. If she loves you, she will find your indifference appealing and enticing; and if she doesn’t love you, your indifference will simply validate her impression n that you are not the man to be with and it was great that you moved away. So stay in touch or don’t stay in touch. You think it should matter, but it doesn’t”.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Dragons and Princesses
My friend Doug has gotten through his first week of chemo. His whole world has changed. What was once so clear is now uncertain except his courage.
So, I am posting my favorite quote for him and all those who might have dragons to slay.
“...perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave. Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us.” Rainer Maria Rilke
So, I am posting my favorite quote for him and all those who might have dragons to slay.
“...perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave. Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us.” Rainer Maria Rilke
Creative Change
How do you creatively cope with change? I invite you to send your thoughts or comments, be it poetry, quotes or ways you have found to walk through change positively.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
The Marines Have Landed...the power of metaphor
My friend began his chemotherapy yesterday and adopted a powerful war strategy. He is now trusting his assault team (his medical professionals) and his troops (his chemotherapy) and his personal leadership. The Marines have landed.
I am visualizing this process like Delta Company, Second Battalion advancing through the jungles and up the ridgelines east of Hue looking for a place to bivouac, while they wait for backups to arrive over the next few days in order to have enough strength to advance on the bastards that are trying to kill them and steal their way of life.This really is war at its highest level...Unfortunately, SHOCK & AWE was not an option for my treatment so I am placing my trust in the ground troops. I will count on my doctors to provide the battle plan and the mel/dex to provide the firepower to take out the enemy in quick fashion.As the general heading this up, I have ordered no holds barred. Water boarding, enhanced interrogation techniques and even down right torture are authorized and I don't care who knows that they are going on. If I don't win this war, it won't be because I didn't give it my best shot or that my hands where tied by weak-kneed politicians.
And to this I would add a quote by John Wayne: "If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'"
I am visualizing this process like Delta Company, Second Battalion advancing through the jungles and up the ridgelines east of Hue looking for a place to bivouac, while they wait for backups to arrive over the next few days in order to have enough strength to advance on the bastards that are trying to kill them and steal their way of life.This really is war at its highest level...Unfortunately, SHOCK & AWE was not an option for my treatment so I am placing my trust in the ground troops. I will count on my doctors to provide the battle plan and the mel/dex to provide the firepower to take out the enemy in quick fashion.As the general heading this up, I have ordered no holds barred. Water boarding, enhanced interrogation techniques and even down right torture are authorized and I don't care who knows that they are going on. If I don't win this war, it won't be because I didn't give it my best shot or that my hands where tied by weak-kneed politicians.
And to this I would add a quote by John Wayne: "If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'"
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Stepping up to the plate
If you are fortunate to have good friends, you are blessed. I have been. Recently I received a call from my Friend Doug who said he was dying. I thought he was kidding, but he never has joked with me. I guess I just didn't know how to respond. But he did. He repeated, No, I'm not joking. It sucks. It hit me hard because this is a guy you just have to love. He has always made a point of staying in touch with his friends. He has been my friend for atleast 38 years and still counting. He was my best friends' boyfriend in high school and well, we always had an unexplicable closeness (his description). So, what do you do when you receive this kind of news? You say, I love you and mean it and I will be there for you and mean it and then get off the phone and say this is one of the most important moments in my life where I need to step up to the plate. Well here's to one of Doug's biggest fans. I am on your team, sweetie.
Friday, May 15, 2009
stategies for managing change
Here are some thoughts on change as I prepared a hypnosis script. You might find them useful as well.
- Change is a normal part of life
- It is not a question of if there will be change...more of... when and how change will affect your life
- Change is as certain as the sunrise and sunset, like time
- And sixty seconds is a minute and there are sixty minutes in each hour and seven days in each week
- And as you consider change as a certainty....finally consider that change is an opportunity to act not react ...and like time we can distort a certainty in novel ways
- Imagine an activity where you told yourself-- I lost track of time and what seemed like just a few minutes was really an hour of clock time or what seemed like just an hour flew by like a few minutes....change can be seen in this way as well
- Perhaps this change is for the better or perhaps not...only time will tell and your capacity to manage it
- And acting rather than reacting is key to positively influencing a future you don’t know yet
- And a creative act now suggests a work in progress that builds towards a successful beginning.
The great Scientist Albert Einstein said, Nothing happens until something moves. So as you move and shift grow more and more comfortable with possibilities.
And who could have imagined the first foot path would later become a road and years later a highway. And who would have known that the roads would invite the invention of cars...and paths are meant to be followed and roads are meant to be traveled. And what is the price of progress? Change.
Take a minute to reflect on how you can imagine change......
Joseph Henry an American physicist once noted, “The seeds of great discoveries are constantly floating around us, but they only take root in minds well prepared to receive them.”
And I would like to suggest that you imagine a fertile field with dark loamy soil and the sounds of Spring and the sound of plants pushing up through the ground to meet a clear blue sunlit sky as you relax deeper into each moment.
And it can be an interesting experience to feel a lightness within... and the possibility of floating in the sky like a cloud or a breath of mist. And in seeing different views of the same picture...from both above and below you can gain a new perspective.
And fences make good neighbours, but gates invite the possibility to explore beyond your current boundaries.
You may now find that you allow yourself to explore different ideas within you and whether you see, touch upon or smell out new paths...a road is meant to be traveled.
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