Performance Anxiety -- a script some might find useful

If you have clients who experience test or performance anxiety, you might find some of these passages helpful in developing a hypnosis session. The target group: people who experience anxiety and have negative perceptions.

Inducution.
Reponse set: seeing things from different vantage points like changing landscapes. From a hill, from a plane and different views of personal experiences like "who you are today is not who you will be tomorrow".

The script:
Imagine a glass of water filled half way. If you were asked "Is the glass half empty or is the glass half full? What would it be like to change your answer?

Perception is unique to every individual and is simply your personal interpretation of reality. That is what makes us all different and the mind so complex. That is why we can have competing feelings like I want to do well in school, but sometimes I feel too tired to take the bus.

And whether you understand the expression a rolling stone gathers no moss,
a person who is willing to consider possibility is less likely to stand still and have the world act on him or her.

Now I invite you to deeply relax.

Here is the heart of the matter
When I ask does your heart say yes or does it say no?
If yes, then a test gives you an opportunity to show someone what you know.
If yes, a test gives you a chance to be considered even when the answer is not what was expected.
And whether they are your partner, boss, friend or just a respected teacher
You can now consider that ...
Taking a test is an opportunity – to measure what I want to know more about. What I want to understand what I know and what I need to learn more about.

That is exciting like finding the last piece of a puzzle.

And as you become more and more comfortable,
I encourage you to create a vision of being relaxed and creating an image of all the information that is valuable to you and all the information that you don’t know yet.

Information that you might need when you least expect to need it.
Like a skilled magician who produces a bouquet of flowers out of thin air.

And what does it take to get a college degree?
You have to do the work and show up at class.
But the diploma endures.
And a simple piece of paper opens doors that are too heavy for the strongest man without a library card
Over the course of a lifetime.

Tests come in many different shapes and sizes so it is interesting to consider the skill of making the grade comfortably
inside and outside a classroom.

And you might have begun to notice how comfortable you are feeling as you have already begun to learn new ways to look at an old subject.

It reminds me of an experience when I was in college.
I had a teacher who once asked “What is the question that you intend to answer on the test next week?” because "I want to know what you know not what you don’t know"

Perhaps you as well as
I instantly began to feel excited, expectant long before the test date because I suddenly had so much to say.

I hardly noticed that I was swimming over my books and even discovering books I had not read yet.

I could actually see and feel how well I had prepared and how I began to feel information at my finger tips...as you can let a sensation in your fingertips develop now to show you that what you focus on you magnify.

And I don’t know if you can picture a beautiful, roaring water fall cascading with information, but the pleasant sound can be both comforting and yet at the same time so powerful.

And how is it that some of the most interesting people in the world have an ability to set their feelings aside to send a direct message.

Really it is not so important how they do that, but that they have figured out they need to do it to be considered.

I think you know what I am talking about

It is becoming so focused and transparent.

Actors don’t just get on a stage and act. They learn their lines and pretend they are the character.
They rehearse their lines over and over.

I once heard a famous psychiatrist say, just pretend you know what you know and after awhile you’ll forget that you are pretending.

You can see the logic in that as you let yourself relax even deeper.

Three deep breaths. You will take three deep, luxurious breaths that expand your lungs and as you exhale all the tension in your body will begin to drain out spreading comfort throughout your body as you enter a room where you are being asked

What do you know.

And you are going to tell them what you know and it will be exciting and even if you are the last person in the room you will enjoy every minute as an opportunity to express yourself fully and

If you reach a question that seems not as easy, you will skip it,
relax as you answer the easier questions, then go back to it later.

You will remember that obstacles are only challenges in disguise and if you have time, you will unmask the question.

Invite your client to begin a natureal reorientation to the room....

Living in the Now

In 1913 Dr. William Osler was invited to speak to students at Yale University. His address suggested that people could, with practice, develop "Day-tight compartments" to manage worry. He couched his thoughts in the metaphor of an ocean liner's bulkheads -- those great metal doors that close to keep out water if the boat's integrity is compromised "to ensure safety on the voyage" -- meaning life.

And I quote, "Get on the bridge and see that at least the great bulkheads are in working order. Touch a button and hear, at every level of your life, the iron doors shutting out the Past--the dead yesterdays. Touch another and shut off, with a metal curtain, the Future--the unborn tomorrows. Then you are safe -- safe for to-day!"

He suggested further in his speech that a successful future would emerge naturally from work well done in the day.

I read this same message in Michael Yapko's book "Depression is Contagious" when he offered ways to discriminate between useless analysis (worry with no answers) and useful analysis (concerns that once analysed led to a clear and direct course of action).

For years, I believed that introspection was a gift and felt it contributed to my reputation as being a "deep thinker". I was absolutely wrong. Worry contributes to nothing other than spinning around and around. So, give yourself a break and consider shutting those water-tight compartments and live fully today.

Reaching Out

Today one of the hottest topics in the world is the physical environment and the term "sustainable development". I have coined a spin off of this term: "Research Architects" or ways to construct, develop and maintain the most effective strategies for reducing personal isolation and building social networks that keep people safe and thriving in a complex world. I am developing a series of workshops on this topic that will be complemented with focused awareness exercises. Keep posted.

No walk in the park...

Several weeks ago I decided to take a walk to a park in a new area of town. It was early evening and although I was advised to take a bus, the evening was mild and I needed the exercise. I noticed everyone on the street, especially noting the older women with their shopping bags and small dogs on leash which represented a safe neighborhood to me. At first I was curious about the colorful graffiti on the walls until it suddenly grew above my head and the smell of local garages and non-descript businesses crossed my path. At one point I thought I would turn and retrace my steps especially when I noticed that small groups of men had replaced women and leashed dogs. But I did not turn. Instead I looked up and saw green trees in the distance I thought "There's the park." and I just kept walking with a definite determination.

Several blocks later I was at a wall. It was ten feet tall of solid concrete with one small a gate that I quickly opened into a large and beautiful cemetery. I was surprised.

I became reflective as I walked through the tiny alleys and admired the miniatures residences. I was in a safe and quiet place. I was in a park. I thought to myself, everyday one should walk in a cemetery to appreciate one's short life.

It was not quite the walk in a park I had anticipated, but nonetheless...the exercise was good for me.

Solid Words

"Following are six of the most significant factors to consider in assessing other people. I want to make it clear that these are my top six of dozens of possible things to observe about someone else...(M. Yapko)

First and foremost : A well developed sense of responsibility.

Good relationships are difficult enough between two reasonably intelligent, emotionally healthy people. But if you don't have a well-developed sense of responsibility, you don't have the foundation for doing all of the important things that you must do to keep a relationship healthy....the following are examples of what responisbility looks like in relationships:

A responsible person commits to performing the tasks that represent an agreed-upon division of labor within the relationship ("I'll cook if you clean" or "I'll research and report on the technology for this new program is you'll write up the proposal") One person doesn't get to kick back while someone else does it all.

A responsible person does what she says she will do and can be depended upon to follow through on commitments. Her promise is as good as gold. ("I said I'd do it, so count on it.")

A responsible person doesn't isolate his spouse, partner or colleague (You don't like my drinking? That's your problem!") A responsible person accepts that he is not responsible for other people, but is responsible to them. When one person in a good relationship says, "This is a concern for me," the responsible person helps address it directly and in a timely way.

A responsible person doesn't put ther people's well-being at risk for his or her own benefit ("I know I have a family depending on me, but I've always wanted to climb Mt. Everest and now here's my chance").

A responsible person doesn't blame other people for the the choices he made ("I had to hide my mountain of debt from you because I knew yuo'd be furious with me for spending money we don't have").

A responsible person doesn't walk away from an interaction just because it's difficult ("Stop talking, you're giving me a headache!").

A responsible person doesn't threaten other people or otherwise try to control them ("Either you cut back on your hours or I'm leaving you").

A responsible person doesn't ignore the needs of others who've been led to believe they can depend on her just because her original commitment is no longer convenient ("I know I said I would be there, but that was before I got tickets to the concert").

The ability to take responsibility for one's actions is often not very easy. Cognitive dissonance leads people to justify rather than apologize for some pretty bad behaviour. the importance of being able to say "I'm sorry" to someone you've wronged cannot be overstated, and there are few better possible displays of inegrity .(p58-59)"

With Gratitude

Recently I was in Rome at a conference. This is what I learned. It is not the road we travel, but the people we meet on that road that makes the travel of value. For example, being invited to sit beside my teacher and mentor was like sitting beneath a great strong oak tree that blows in the wind, but definitely is rooted solidly in the soil. He might not appreciate that metaphor, but the workshop included an exercise on gratitude. So there you go. Thank you Michael Yapko.

I just finished reading his latest book, "Depression is Contagious". Whether you are clinically depressed or just drowning in your "I have a right to have these feelings" feelings, run to the closest bookstore fast and buy this book. Pay particular attention to "You are not your mood" and questions like: "How do you discriminate between over-thinking and effective thinking?"

Once you embrace this, you will instantly feel so much better...at least I did.

Let go of the past and the future you don't know yet and focus on creating a positive direction on a road oft travelled. Be kind to yourself.

If there is someone out there who does something really well, stop and just ask them
"How do you do that?" And listen.

Stepping into the unknown: Recall...

Ithaka

As you set out for Ithaka hope the voyage is a long one,full of adventure, full of discovery.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,angry Poseidon-don't be afraid of them:you'll never find things like that on your wayas long as you keep your thoughts raised high,as long as a rare excitementstirs your spirit and your body.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,wild Poseidon-you won't encounter themunless you bring them along inside your soul,unless your soul sets them up in front of you.

Hope the voyage is a long one.May there be many a summer morning when,with what pleasure, what joy,you come into harbors seen for the first time;may you stop at Phoenician trading stationsto buy fine things,mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,sensual perfume of every kind-as many sensual perfumes as you can;and may you visit many Egyptian citiesto gather stores of knowledge from their scholars.

Keep Ithaka always in your mind.Arriving there is what you are destined for.But do not hurry the journey at all.Better if it lasts for years,so you are old by the time you reach the island,wealthy with all you have gained on the way,not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.

Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.Without her you would not have set out.She has nothing left to give you now.
And if you find her poor, Ithaka won't have fooled you.Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,you will have understood by then what these Ithakas mean.